Our Lady of the Soccer Moms

Our Lady of the Soccer Moms

Interview with Denise Roy, author: My Monastery is a Minivan: Where the Daily is Divine and the Routine Becomes Prayer

by Nadine Condon

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Until she became a mother, Denise Roy thought serious spiritual practice was confined to the quiet solitude of monasteries. Raising four children, however, taught her more about spirituality than she learned from four years of seminary.

In her book, My Monastery is a Minivan, Roy uses thirty-five personal anecdotes to show how ordinary moments can be full of grace and spiritual insight. Holding both a Masters of Divinity and a Masters of Arts in Counseling and Psychology, Roy's serious meditations are balanced by a good dose of humor.

I had the opportunity to speak with Denise Roy at Grace Cathedral on September 14, 2001, where Roy reflected on being in the present, parenthood, and rituals in daily life.

Nadine: You had such common themes in the book of stopping to see and feel the sacred.

Denise: One day I was sitting at an intersection, listening to NPR. They had an a capella group that sings medieval chant on the show. There I am, stopped at the light in my minivan, listening to this incredible medieval chant. I realized I could be sitting in a monastery. It's really just about being where you are and being present to that.

Although you wanted to be a nun, you ended up a parent. It seems motherhood has been overlooked as a spiritual path, particularly in our modern society.

I never really saw myself as getting married and having kids, yet, motherhood... was the thing that really opened my heart in a way that I never thought it would be opened. It really transformed me. I used to think that motherhood would take me away from a spiritual practice, but what happened is that it became my spiritual practice.

Your book might open parents' eyes to how they can create spiritual ritual today. In the past churches or schools provided that. But since that's not provided now, it's really become the parental role.

Absolutely. That's part of that same process of expecting others to be the holy ones, but not us. I'm hoping that what people glimpse in reading these stories is that you are the holy one. You and your children and the people in your life and the moments of your life. This is where holiness is, it's not outside of yourself.

You often talk about children as teachers--I'm not sure enough parents recognize this value in their children.

I think that the first step is really slowing down and resisting this pace of life that pulls you away from who you really are. Because in our busyness we're not going to be able to see our kids. We're going to be transporting them every place but we're not really going to be seeing them.

You write that standing at the kitchen sink we can garner all kinds of wisdom. Share a kitchen sink ritual with us.

Rachel Remen shares a practice that she adapted from a ritual that a Tibetan nun taught her. I take a small bowl every morning and to fill it to the brim with running water. Use it as a way of accepting all that life brings you... all that you are receiving this day. Then I set it above my kitchen sink, on the little shelf, and then I do a deep bow

I really believe that through simple practices like this we can stretch ourselves, and help ourselves to be able to contain all that life is giving us even when we're being asked to contain a lot.

Related Links

Her Monastery is a Minivan
Denise Roy discovers the mystical in the mundane. How can we encounter the simple spirituality of our daily lives? Excerpt.

The Doctor and the Soul
Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, author of the best selling Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories that Heal, discusses a holistic approach to healing from her perspective as a medical doctor, a patient, and a story teller. Forum.

Simple Spirituality from A to Z
Mary Ann Brussat teaches how to transform daily tasks into enriching spiritual practices. Interview.