Grace at Work: Living the blessings

by The Reverend Whitney W. Roberson

Not long ago my office colleagues and I went on a three-day retreat to reflect on our own work and our work together. It was one of those events on which I'll be reflecting for many months to come, I suspect. One of the very first things to which Rob Voyle*, our retreat facilitator, invited us was the observation of the blessings and curses in our lives. All our interactions, he suggested, can be seen either blessings or curses: we get to choose whether we'll live the blessings or the curses.

A blessing is simply "a word of truth about us that resonates deeply within us," and that invites us to live and manifest that truth. A curse, on the other hand, tells a lie about us, tempting us to live that lie and moving us toward alienation. The tricky part comes in recognizing which is which, and choosing to live the blessings, letting these inform our future. All of us have those blessings and curses rumbling around in our souls: the thoughtless comment of a teacher long ago, the praise of a coach or mentor, the "curse" of an older sibling, or the word of confidence expressed to us by our first boss.

Nothing brought this idea home to me more clearly than something I remembered from my college years. I'd been having a hard time, experiencing the depression not uncommon in those turbulent years of young adulthood, so I'd been visiting the university's mental health clinic for some months. The young psychiatrist I saw, a resident, was not much help. He'd speak sympathetically of my illness, hoping to get me to open up; but much of the time, I could think of little to say. Finally deeper in despair I visited with a mentor friend who looked at me and said simply, "You're not sick; you're struggling toward wholeness." A handful of words moved me from curse to blessing! The curse of illness had become a blessing of hope: "moving toward wholeness. " My pain had meaning and was leading me somewhere!

Years later, I had a spiritual director who inadvertently "cursed" me, telling me something that troubled me deeply. I puzzled about his words for weeks; after all, spiritual advisors do sometimes say hard but needful things. In the end, though, I realized his words were a curse, leading me to self-alienation rather than toward a deeper wholeness. I wrote his words on a piece of paper, and the next time I saw him, I handed them back to him. I simply refused to keep them. Interesting: I no longer even remember what he said.

Blessing and curses: it's an intriguing notion that we help shape our own reality. I wonder, how do you shape yours? Reflect for a moment on your own life and work: what blessings or curses are still informing your life? How might you choose to live the blessings, and to let go of the curses? How will you bless yourself? How might your work and words become a blessing to others? Which of your work practices bless others; which curse?

Nothing comes into existence until it's blessed, Rob told us. What is waiting for you to bless it into existence?

 
The Reverend Whitney W. Roberson is the coordinator of Spirituality at Work and Associate Pastor at Grace Cathedral.

*For more about the work of Robert Voyle, see his website www.clergyleadership.com