Excerpted from Son of A Preacher Man: My Search for Grace in the Shadows.. (c) 2001 by Jay Bakker. Reprinted with permission of HarperSanFrancisco. All rights reserved. Buy the book from Amazon.com and help support GraceOnline.

People have said that I have had a prodigal son kind of life. Maybe. But what I know for sure is that I have spent time in my personal wilderness, and I've had my share of tests. I would go through it all again, however, if it meant I would be the recipient of the AMAZING grace of Christ. I guess that, more than any other reason, is why I decided to tell my story now. I, who have been through the mill, enjoy a sense of peace and purpose today not generally associated with people who look like me. I feel strongly that it is my responsibility to share some of that peace with other people who may feel they just don't fit in.

Writing this book was torture for me not only because I've had to relive the past but also because I have dyslexia. But I feel it is important to give back some of what I have learned about being lost and being found, about anger and forgiveness, about being an outcast and finding peace.

My generation has gotten kind of lost. We watched out heroes change, our music change, we saw Kurt Cobain take his own life.

I spend my days speaking and preaching about God to all types of people, including kids who don't feel accepted. Every day my friends and I try to pioneer a new type of ministry. One that reaches out to punk rockers and those who have been labeled "generation x'ers"--a generation so "nothing" in a way that they didn't even give it a name. My generation has gotten kind of lost. We watched our heroes change, our music change, we saw Kurt Cobain take his own life. We witnessed the Columbine shootings. We have tattoos, piercings, and we listen to music others find bizarre. We feel different and we act different. We are definitely a different type of generation trying to make our own way and our own impact on the world.

I've been able to do that in large part because of God's grace. Grace for me is the unconditional love of Christ that all people need to understand. It is through grace that I have found strength in the toughest situations, like my father being in prison and my family being ridiculed. God has allowed me to make it through my parents' divorce and through watching, what I felt was, the whole church turn its back on my family. I survived the humiliation of my dyslexia, my alcoholism, my drug addictions, and being a high school drop-out.

I discovered grace by going through all the events that you'll read in this book. I had to lose a lot. I had to watch my family lose everything. I had to watch my family fall apart. I had to go through a hard time, but it was all worth it when I realized God's unconditional love for me. It doesn't really make sense that I wouldn't trade any of the unhappiness for what I've learned, and the experiences that I've had. But there it is. And I know it's useful.

I certainly know a lot about what happens when people turn on each other. It is the plot line of my life.

I certainly know a lot about what happens when people turn on each other. It is the plot line of my life. I have seen my family made fun of on Saturday Night Live. I have heard preachers who have the ears of millions say things about my parent no one should ever have to hear. I should have just cursed God and died, because watching the people I loved most being ripped apart by their fellow churchgoers was hell. But being able to stick through that and endure made me realize how amazing God truly is. It is time to put the bitterness to rest and to take a look at ourselves, especially in the church, and ask, "Am I being Christ to another person?" or "Am I destroying another person", "Is the church destroying the church?"

It's horrible what's happening in the church today with so many pastors, church clergy, and members of the church being destroyed over petty things and infighting. I believe that we've given sin its power back, as I will discuss this much further in Son of a Preacher Man.

I want this book in a way to serve as a warning tool and as an example of the dangers of what happens when we play political and religious games in the church. It does destroy people, and we have to stop destroying one another especially as the body of Christ.

Anyone can have access to the strength and dignity that I have found, and that message is why I have written this book--as a testament and as a book of overcoming.

Anyone can have access to the strength and dignity that I have found, and that message is why I have written this book--as a testament and as a book of overcoming, a book of encouragement, a book that can make a difference no matter how hard your life is, no matter what you're going through. I hope that this book will also reach out to teenagers and young adults and all the people who tell me things such as, "I can't do anything with my life; I'm just a nobody." In my ministry, people have said to me, "I don't know how to read or write"; "I dropped out of high school"; "I'm an alcoholic"; "I'm a drug addict"; or "I'm covered head to toe with tattoos and no one will ever respect me." I encourage them and say, "No matter what you've been through, you can make it."

I want people to have the hope I've found. I want those who are struggling with drugs to read this book and know they can have a happy ending, I want the fifty-year-old tattoo artist who has never felt God loved him or accepted him to know God really does care. I want the doubting preacher to feel like there's hope. I want the pastor in a small town who doesn't know if God loves him, to feel encouragement and strength through this story. I want people to say, "You know what? We've got to stop tearing each other apart and start restoring one another."

I hope this book can help us realize that we're human and we all make mistakes and none of us are perfect, so we can stop trying to better the church by condemning other people, and better the church by concentrating on ourselves.

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